I have taken quite a few really since Elizabeth came into our lives, I have an iPhone and so I take that everywhere and the camera isn't half bad. I usually take photos of something that I want to remember, instead of writing it down; something to look up, a book to order, or maybe a gift idea.
I do have a fancy pants camera, a Canon EOS 40D; it is the bees knees... but only when I do take it out of its case and actually take photos. I didn't get the chance to take any of Elizabeth - I would have taken thousands by now....
Just looking up and checking that I was right in thinking Elizabeth would be almost 9 weeks old - I don't know where my sense of time has gone; 2 weeks ago or 2 years? But as I looked at the calender the 22nd came out and hit me in the face - Elizabeth's 2 month birthday is today.
I haven't a clue what a 2 month old are supposed to be like, I don't know their key mile stones; whether she'd be holding her head up, smiling, producing tears (that is a strange one; they cry, but don't physically produce tears when first born - an obscure fact I read early on), getting into a eating/sleeping routine of sorts, whether she'd like the morning best or the nighttime, would she love or laugh at my singing and if she'd be a vocal young babe....
All these things I'll never know and I will forever be thinking of these things, wondering who the little girl is that I am missing so much...
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Back to the photo since Elizabeth - I will choose a nice one.... but that could include Elizabeth, they were taken after see died? No, lets let her have her own time and leave me to deal with the aftermath that is our lives now.
This one is for you my sweet baby girl - your Ma and Dad learning to smile again.
It was taken down in the city, Victoria Gardens where we lay flowers for you and Taggpole. It is the first time we've both been down there where it was warm and sunny, we lounged on the grass and socked it up with you both on our minds. On walking around your pond I was delighted to see the little family of Moorhens, have gone forth and multiplied; at least 4 little families of their own. All the little Moorhen chicks with their bald red heads, mewing quietly... I could sit there for hours just watching life at the pond. Your Willy Wagtail was there too, busy making a nest; he must have found a mate too.
I started bleeding again this morning. I don't know why, I only stopped a week ago after my first 'normal' period. I can only imagine that my body is still finding its own way. It feels like the world is conspiring against us right now, but know that my body will become pregnant when its ready - well heres hoping!
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