I'll find you in the bright colours and quite places, always remembered beautiful Elizabeth - Auntie K

Pumpkin Pages

Okay, this is a place for me to keep all my little bits of information regarding this new pregnancy.  This new soul is due on Halloween, although he/she will be delivered approximately 2-3 weeks before.  I'm not wanting to find out the gender for many reasons this time (typo; I missed the 't' out of 'this', making it 'his' - is that a sign?), so will refer to this soul as the Pumpkin, or maybe BB?  Anyway, this place is for scan/bump photos and any other bits of information, silly or not that I can keep in the one place.
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Beta hCG levels:
Feb 19th (DPO 12) = 34
Feb 23rd (DPO 16) = 332 ....  Doubling time 28hrs
Feb 27th (DPO 20) = 1738 ....  Doubling time 38hrs
March 3rd (DPO 24) = 9004 ...  Doubling time 41hrs
March 8th (DPO 29) = 31635 ...  Doubling time 66hrs

Milestones - taken from the ipreggo app.   I had this app going with Elizabeth's pregnancy and remember filling it all out on the days they all came about - but on deleting the app from the phone after Elizabeth's birth, all the stored information disappeared.  So it is all getting written down somewhere; either here, on the 'home' page or in my paper journal - it is not going to be lost again...

Found out I was pregnant: Feb 19th
First experienced morning sickness: March 11th
Admitted I had first mood swing: April 18th
Noticed enhanced sense of smell: March 11th
First started wearing maternity clothes: April 12th (only due to lack of clean jeans)
First heard baby's heartbeat: March 8th
First saw baby on ultrasound: March 8th
Found out gender: June 14th
First felt baby kick: April 23rd (12weeks +5)
First felt baby having hiccups: June 16th (20weeks +3)
Had to get help putting on my shoes/socks: Sept 19th (34 weeks)
First noticed linea nigra forming: July 18th (25 weeks)
First felt Braxton-Hicks contraction: May 31st (18 weeks +1)

37 and 3 days - 5 days to go!!
37 weeks - October 10th
Not bad at all. Sleep is eluding me, but that is just due to anxiety, excitement, making lists and a general fretting that I can usually keep under control during the day time hours.
The 'nose scratching' pain I am continuing to feel is actually my ligaments being pulled by Amelia's weight so Penny assured me - she isn't worried about it, so I'm not. The BH aren't increasing in frequency, but are with intensity and that is only to be expected too. I am actually bursting with energy; call it nesting or whatever you want, but I'm keeping very busy and productive. Dare I say it, but the list of things to be done is looking rather short now!

It's been tough week really, hurdles have been jumped and I've fallen at many of them to be honest. I received 'Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You' book and that had me in bits. I also got the car seat installed and just felt so bloody presumptuous and then just so terrible for doubting Amelia. The hardest however was going through Elizabeth's dresser of clothes and things, I am so glad that I don't have that to do again.

I'm feeling good now and that is due to talking through my concerns with Penny about the 45 minutes I'm due to be in recovery. That is all sorted now, barring extenuating circumstances. I know how many people will be working in there (two midwives and a student who'll be looking after us), I know how busy the other 3 theatres will be and I know where I am on that days list (first!!). There should be no way I'll be left in recovery alone this time - woo hoo!
So I'm relieved to say the least and don't have to worry about that - I'm back to my head in the sand again; hands over my ears, eyes screwed shut, singing loudly. We have a fairly busy weekend lined up to be honest; the way it was planned so as not to give us too much time to think and get worked up about things. Graduation celebrations all day tomorrow, Saturday ticking things off the lists and of course lighting many candles at 7pm for the Wave of Light. Sunday brunch, followed by a bump photo session and Monday will be our last jaunt in the city together (with pre-admission blood tests and CTG) and the last chance to get list things ticked off - not that it's imperative that it all gets done.

I'm in the final stretch and you know what - I think I can make it with my sanity...
Touch wood!

Hospital appointments and clinical
Wow, it was strange coming from Penny's office without having to make another appointment for the next week. I will be back here again for blood tests and a CTG on Monday and then again on Tuesday.
I'll be having another course of steroids which A. will administer on Sunday and Monday, just as a precaution against any respiratory distress, which would result with time in the nursery. 
On ultrasound Amelia looks wonderful! We saw her swallowing, opening her eyes and her lovely ever-so chubby cheeks - just thinking, that in just 5 days I can kiss those cheeks, blow raspberries and stroke them is more than I could want; just 5 days.
As I said above, I'm so relieved about talking the recovery stay over and finding out what is what for sure - I am really so much better know all the information.

I didn't gain any weight last week, but seem to be making up for that now.

Anything sweet really, but only after a small savoury something(and you can't beat a good bacon butty!) - I'd rather fill up with a hot sweet drink rather than a meal, as i stay so full for so long and my stomach capacity is getting smaller and smaller.

Plans & Preparations
Yes, well everything is in place for Tuesday, we're almost done setting everything up and only waiting for a sunny day without rain to do the rest of the washing. Furniture has been moved, hospital bag is as packed as it can be and the car seat installed.
So chuffed that 'bunny' I knitted Amelia has turned out wonderfully and I have only to sew the branches onto the girls tree tapestry now - photo of that will come once done...

Completed 'bunny' and The book

36 weeks and 3 days; 12 days to go!!
36 weeks - October 3rd
Not feeling too bad, although huge.  I am heavier now than I was carrying Elizabeth - the heaviest I've ever been I think. 
I still can't sneeze without giving myself BH and last night I couldn't move a muscle without having one, even then they still came. I am still sleeping fairly well despite the many loo visits and an hours power nap does me the world of good in the afternoon when I can squeeze one in. 
Waddling has become the norm now and I haven't a clue what she is doing in there but the only way to describe it is - scraping a long fingernail down the inside on your nostril; it is on par with that painful sensation, but down around my cervix and that really has me walking on tiptoes holding my breath!!
I may have to stow my engagement ring away soon; as my fingers getting puffy in the afternoon.

Head is still in the sand and I'm happy with that for the now - I don't think things will feel real until it is. Up until then I'll just get on and pretend that everything is going to turn out for the best - and it usually does for the rest of the world; why not me!?

Hospital appointments and clinical
As I've been having a lot of BH, Penny did another Ffn test and that came back negative - phew! So that should cover me for the rest if this pregnancy, but that doesn't mean that I can't go into labour earlier - but does give me a good likelihood that I won't. I asked Penny about her size and weight and was reassured with the ultrasound measurements she took today - I knew that her head, legs and tummy wouldn't have shrank and she's measuring spot on - she'll be about 3kg at birth which is average.
Saw Dr Psychology this morning also, she is super happy with me and we've arranged to meet in two weeks when I'll (hopefully) be on the maternity ward with Amelia; just to see how I'm doing and if I need/want anymore time in hospital than those three night given to c-section mothers.
CTG, AFI and Doppler today have all be great results - with the CTG I didn't even get into my book before being taken off the machine - Little Miss was being a model babe and showing them all they needed to see.

Yes, I've put on another kilo this week - maybe I should rethink a few of my SHCs? The scan machine Penny used this morning didn't have the function to show estimated weight (oh, she did hunt for it), but I was assured that Amelia isn't trailing behind on the growth side of things - Penny actually said that the AFI and Doppler results are more of an indicator of 'fetal well-being' than any measurements - it just means that the placenta is working at it's best, regardless of growth spurts or any genetic factors (tall/short/long legs/big head or the like).

Who cares really - I'm just eating as much of whatever I fancy that my limited stomach capacity allows. I'm trying to pick the 'healthy' choice, but my sweet tooth rears it's head and wins a lot.

Plans & Preparations
The Two Weeks Remaining List has been started! I'm okay with that really and it doesn't feel forced doing so - I just need to spend more time at home to be getting on with those things and not just running away and out of the house. Lots of jobs has been completed from the Tying Up Of Loose Ends List, so haven't been sitting on my arse doing nothing - far from it to be honest!

35 weeks
35 weeks - September 26th
Getting more used to the BH now, they aren't as frequent (and certainly not regular or painful) as they have been and realise that this is just part of this pregnancy - I'm still hyper aware of them however. Feeling bigger than I have been before carrying Elizabeth I think. Getting quite uncomfortable during the night time again now; if it's not my nose being bunged up (and that is with a breathe right stripe that I still use every night), it's little missy not being comfy and kicking me awake to change position - oh and the loo trips that can mount to five or six times a night. Thankfully I've been that pooped that I can actually get back to sleep after the first few trips.

I'm sticking my head in the sand - I'm wanting time to stand still; everything is good in the here and now, it's the future I can't control and that is where I fall apart. Stick me in a time machine and fast forward me to the 18th please! Pretty please?!
Anyway, I'm keeping myself so very busy that I don't have time to write, think or read any other blogs. It's all things that should have been done a while ago; tying up all the loose ends which is so very draining mustering the mental energy needed. Then there is Amelia's impending arrival to prepare for. Some of it is stupid but practical stuff; making and freezing meals, setting up grocery delivery, having the house deep cleaned, getting paperwork for her passport etc... 
Then we have the set up of the girls room which I'm purposefully leaving for next week to attempt - I'm just not in the right frame of mind for that insurmountable task at the minute, I really hope I will be later - but once she is born its either sink or swim.

Appointments & Clinical
My appointment this week was with Dr Anna of the MFM - she was nice but not Penny; who I will see her next week thankfully. She gave me quick scan and had rather dubious measurements for her weight (see below), but over all we have a happy, active baby in here. Right now I'm writing this from a comfy seat in the Day Care Unit waiting for the AFI and Doppler, the CTG was all good and completed in good time - again, a happy we have. AFI and Doppler all with great ranges. 

As I said I was a little concerned with the fact that I hadn't put a lot of weight on in the past two weeks - Elizabeth suffered from growth restriction in the last few weeks and I don't want to go back there. Anyway after some measurements it was deemed that she was weighing in at 2.4kg. I should have said something as some of her measurements were well behind - but can she really be further behind than she was from the last scan three weeks ago? Dr Anna said she was looking great and I would guesstimate that her weight is greater than the one she gave me - anyway when I see Penny next week, she'll get good measurements or get me a biophysical scan squeezed in.

The SHC (but that might just be the whole nurturing experience, as told in this post) and still loving lots of tuna.

Plans & Preparations
Ugh - don't really want to think about the lists right now. It goes without saying how busy I'm keeping, with more things to keep me occupied in the coming weeks too. Whether I get it all done or not isn't really that important - it's just the act of keeping busy and active, so I can't wander off into Tess' la la land.
34 weeks
34 weeks - September 19th
I am getting used to my new limits, I have had a lot more BH this week. Wednesday particularly and that really did quite freak me out - if it wasn't for Penny doing the fetal fibronectin (fFN) test I don't think my head would be on my shoulders still. I took that as a sign to calm down and have an easy day to myself, but still I had BH on turning over in bed, sneezing, getting up too quickly and changing position generally. They still aren't painful, just uncomfortable and it goes without saying how the next day my uterus ached badly from all that contracting. Anyway, they have settled down somewhat since then, so I have a little more range of movement.
I have noticed that my skin has gone bonkers - not acne, but I look like I've just come back from a sunny holiday; whatever skin isn't being stretched to its fullest is getting a double helping of pigment. My freckles are so much darker, as are my boobs and linea nigra that incidentally goes all the way up to my chest. I have darkness going up either side of my neck (from my boobs), under my armpits (from my boobs) and all the way down my sides and around my bottom. I mean what the fuck?!  My tummy looks darker on the whole too - I haven't been in the sun though; its too bloody cold for that here. I remember having CTGs with Elizabeth and the nurses asking me if I'd just come back from holiday - I guess I had it all last time around too.

I'm not really here. I'm engrossing myself with little things to pass the time and I don't really think about what I'm doing too much - I write a list of things to do for that day and just get on with it. I can't think about what will happen in 3 and a half weeks time - I think I want time to stop so I'll never have to think about it. I don't know, on one hand I can't wait to meet our little wriggler, but the other means that I'll have to get prepared - and I'm leaving that for the last two weeks. It is a very strange feeling to now want time to stand still.

Hospital Appointments & Clinical
My Thursday appointment was with Dr K my psychologist, the last before having Amelia on the outside with us. The long and the short of it is she is happy with me, but will squeeze me in to see her in two weeks - obviously not that confidant with me then?
Seeing as Penny is away this week, she left me with a CTG, AFI & Doppler form for this weeks reassurance; I was at the hospital anyway for Dr K. Next week I'll be seeing a colleague of hers. The CTG was great; Amelia did everything they wanted in the shortest of time possible and actually had quite regular BH for them to see at the time too - that helped me with my anxiety as I could ask all the questions that I didn't get the chance to the previous week (it did help that the nursing staff were different too). AFI & Doppler was spot on too. But the greatest thing that had me grinning from ear to ear was the fact that we saw on the ultrasound, Amelia sucking her thumb! I was so totally bowled over with that (and now kick myself that I didn't ask for a photo for A; I was too giddy). That alone brought me so much closer to thinking that this pregnancy isn't about to end, but we're going to have a baby.

I'm a little concerned about this as I've hardly put on since last week. I'll ask to have her measurements taken when I see the OB next week and just keep my fingers crossed that Amelia is growing at a good rate still. Elizabeth suffered IUGR in the last few weeks, there could be a whole host of reasons for that, but I don't want to even chance it with her sister.

Well I've had my fix of tuna for today and am heading into the city tomorrow for my other fix of SHC. My sweet tooth is still going strong.

Plans & Preparations
Yeah, am leaving all of that for the last two weeks now, I have made a list and will start on those things from October 4th onward. This is our time to try and not fret about everything and to get on with keeping busy - is that called aversion or denial? Come what may, but this is the path of least resistance for me right now.

33 week update is posted here
33 weeks - September 12th
32 weeks
32 weeks - September 5th
How are you physically?
Exhausted and slowing down some more. Sleep is easier to come, and when waking countless times in the night to pee. But on waking in the morning thereis only about two hours where I actually feel rested, I just want to climb back into bed after that - but don't, as I want to ensure sleep at night and a hour nana nap in the day does help. It's a mental and physical exhaustion and due to A's unsociable hours I get so out of sync with the world of conversing and so don't really wake up fully. I know I am lucky that I don't have to work, but not having focus, nor a routine is making me slower in body and mind.
No tightenings, no BH at all. My stomach is the size of a peanut, that can just about hold a small bowl of cereal. The biggest problem is that I get so thirsty and need fluids all the time, then I just want to eat everything, and do end up eating too much and then just feel so bloody uncomfortable for the next few hours. I could just live off of liquids, but have to consciously eat small and often.
Cold is all gone now, but has left me with aching ribs.
Oh, she is so active; my little wriggler still has manoeuvring room to twist her body around so her long legs are under one side of ribs to the other - I just wish the anxiety of her wrapping her cord around her would leave me be...

And mentally?
Exhausted and the anxiety is really kicking in now. I'm a stranger to it in my everyday life from before and I can tell you it's not nice at all! When I turn over during the night I'm picturing Amelia flipping around and her cord getting tighter and tighter around her. Yes, I have a Doppler at home, but that can't tell me how well and happy she is in there - it doesn't elevate my concerns of slow suffocating cord accidents. And that is it really, my anxiety is over everyday accidents; things that I have no control over that could take her away from us. Irrational, detailed, mostly unwarranted and unmotivated - I am feeling run down by them. They aren't over taking my life as yet, but they are getting hard to dismiss and carry on.
On a bright side I have a 'safety net' with me - Penny gave me a form that I could bring into the hospital at anytime to get extra monitoring; a CTG and AFI (amniotic fluid index) ultrasound. I almost cried when she gave me that form; such understanding and relief that I didn't even have to ask for it.

Hospital appointments and clinical
Along with my 'safety net' we had the 32 week level 2 scan this week. It is just so wonderful to actually see her wriggling in there, to know what it poking out and what part of her is moving - I love putting a part of her to the movements I'm feeling. So happy that A. came too.
All measurements were great; either on track or ahead - so no IUGR for this little lady to date (which should elevate some of the anxiety about her umbilical cord - but doesn't!). She is head down, but not engaged. The placenta has moved upward and they're not worried about that anymore (not that she's coming out that way) and the cord insertion is good to - relieving some anxiety about vasa previa happening again.
Due to Penny's holiday I'm seeing her next week, as there is no one suitable for me to see during the school holidays she told me. I also have Dr Thyroid to see too. Penny is chasing a date for the c-section still and will probably get it with four weeks to go - which is actually quite soon!

At the 32 week scan Amelia was weighing in at 2033g (4.5lb) by her measurements and I love it when they write on the report 'well and active baby'.
My weight has also been better this week and have added another kilo, to bring our gain up to 12kg so far - it does make me wonder where the rest of the 10kgs have gone if Amelia is only 2 of them?

Same, same. I'm drinking my weight in fluids of one sort or another and am having a spate of homemade hearty soups - I have a wonderful chicken and veggie recipe, great for feeling nurtured with a cold. I have a big sweet tooth that is just getting bigger too.

Preps & Plans
We've ordered the last of the 'things' we think we might need for Amelia's arrival. Still all bagged up and waiting for the 'big sort out' to happen. That is it for buying things now; we'll get it when we need it now. It has been decided that the car seat will go in once she is on the outside; it's too much to sort out before hand again. A. even suggested that we get cleaners to deep clean while I'm still in hospital - love that idea!
The girls tapestry is coming on and have been just working on a load of felt flowers in varying colours - I need to take a photo really. Still need to gather and print out all of Elizabeth's sunrise/set photos and compile them in her album, along with her putting together her album of the professional photos to take back to the UK - but where is the rush with that? We're not going back there until November.


31 weeks
31 weeks - August 29th
How are you physically?
I have my slow days. Sleep is elusive from about 4am, but sometimes manage a lie in but still feel just as tired. My little wriggler wakes with me at that time; I just love to feel her moving; so much so that I haven't had to use the doppler for weeks now. She is head down with her butt up in my ribs, but still has room to manoeuvre her long, long legs from one side of my belly to the other. Other than that it is business as usual and I've picked up the pace of things as I've had no signs of any tightenings or Brixton Hicks - phew!!

How are you doing emotionally?
Emotionally I've taken several steps back from the BLM community. Having immersed myself so wholly into it on the lead up to Elizabeth's birthday, I feel as if I've run out of emotional energy. Elizabeth's birthday was all that I wanted it to be; it was beautiful and now feel a relief that is strong. I just need a taste of a 'normal' pregnancy; I need to concentrate on Amelia and getting my head around to the fact that I will birth another child within 2 months.
I also feel quite remote from everyone and not willing to engage with them - the phone has been silent for well over a week to be honest and I hate to think what my family back in the UK  think of me.

Hospital appointments and clinical
My last appointment with Penny on Thursday went well, we saw Amelia and checked her measurements - still her legs are 2 weeks ahead! I was concerned as I'd not put on any weight since leaving the hospital, but she is measuring a whole week ahead still. I go back and see her again in 2 weeks - there just isn't the need for me to see her weekly and that is how things look up until delivery, as she will be away 2 weeks before hand. Speaking of which, she asked if I'd had my c-section booked and have a date yet? No. I told her I was more inclined to go for the earlier date (37 weeks and 4 days) rather than wait another week, unless she could offer me a spot on my 38 week mark - I'll just have to wait and see how that pans out.
I had the best psychologist appointment with Kristine last week. All we did was talk of the 'harsh words' lady and how to protect myself from her, I got a lot out of the appointment and got quite a lot off my chest, along with valuable validation too. Back to see her next month.

As I said I'd lost weight the 2 weeks previous, but have gained this week thankfully.
Amelia is weighting in at about 1500g (3.3lb), up from 1300g (2.8lb) at the scan 2 weeks ago - I am readying myself for another growth spurt which is due in the coming weeks.

Signature Hot Chocolate and tuna. Still loving the SHC, and tuna for the second week running; just the plan old cans of the stuff, nothing fancy with salad, veggies or just cheese and toast. Hmm feeling I need to top up with tuna now!

Preparations & Plans
I did make it to the sales for baby clothes. I really can't turn my nose up at a bargain. They are all still in their bags unpacked under the cot out of the way, I've not been able to do anything with them yet. I need to get things sorted in there; I need to really to take tally of what we'd brought Elizabeth and sort out what I want to keep as hers and what I can use with Amelia. I have still got lots of time and will get around to that later.
I have been really working on the girls tree tapestry though - it has been laid out on the dinning room table and so has been calling me for the past week. I have been sewing on the branches while listening to a newly updated playlist of my favourite tunes (that had to be done before I started and I'm so happy I bothered with it!) - ha, Amelia and even A. likes my playlist too.

30 week update I didn't do as it was Elizabeth's birthday week and my head and heart was just full of her. There is of course a bump photo though.
30 weeks and a day - August 23rd
29 week update is on the main part of My Space here
Here is the bump photo too
29 weeks - August 15th
28 week update was posted about here, when I was in hospital and didn't take a bump photo.

27 weeks

27 weeks - August 1st
How are you physically?
Feeling good on the whole, Amelia is so active!
Sleeping good with vivid dreams - but maybe that is just because A. is on nights
Getting really full on fluids; uncomfortably so and then not having any room to eat. I've put on another kilo and my belly really does feel bigger, my stomach smaller.
I've not been hit with too much tiredness and have had a very productive week really.

How are you doing in the head?
Not bad at all - I'm really on top of everything I want to happen before Elizabeth's birthday, I'm getting so much done - I think I'm keeping myself really busy so I've not got the time to take stock, but it's all things that I've been putting off; you know the jobs that I just thought that would magically get done before her first year, well I am doing them now - feels like nesting of sorts.

Hospital appointments and clinical
Nothing new at Penny's appointment, although we got to see Amelia - highlight of my two week wait. Saw my psychologist last week and she's starting to wear a little thin - she loves the sound of her voice and doesn't appear to listen to what I say. Anyway, no appointments this week at the hospital - that has got to be the first week without one!
Had the Glucose Tolerance Test last week; I'll take it no news is good news (fingers crossed).

26 weeks up 0.5kg
27 weeks up 1.0kg

Signature Hot Chocolate - still I just can't get enough of them and have to really limit myself when I'm in the city, they just bloat me up and end up sloshing around the city.

Preparations & Plans
All Elizabeth's cards are done and sent as of this morning.
Photos are in frames awaiting sticky hooks - rented house.
All photos are waiting a day where I can play loud music (A. has been sleeping the days) to get her photo album sorted; at least all photos are printed now.

26 week bump photo - I must have forgotten to do the update for week 26, but always seem to remember to take a photo.

26 weeks - July 25th
Going for a newish look for the updates, so it easier to read as there is a lot of information - when bloody blogger doesn't chew it up and toss it!

25 weeks and two days

25 weeks - July 18th
How are you physically?
No round ligament pain so far this week, was quite marked last week.
Slowing down on some days, others I have lots of energy even on very little sleep - which is hard to get back to once woken. 
Skin cleared up with the cheap and cheerful QV cream.
Linea nigra starting to come up... all the way up to my breast bone! 
Short spells of restless legs, not half as bad as carrying Elizabeth though. 
I started leaking colostrum.
I didn't push myself too hard last night at prenatal yoga and don't feel achy and old today.

How are you doing in the head?
Good actually - brilliant after the serendipitous meeting with Kim.
Quite slow in the head due to lack of sleep most days
Things are becoming more and more real - I'm on the long home stretch.
On top of all things to do with getting organised for Elizabeth's birthday.
A. Is on nights so have plenty of space for me - but I am missing him too.

Hospital appointments and clinical
I saw Dr Endo today (this clinic is always on wednesdays) and my thyroid levels are spot on. Back to see them in a month with antibody testing.
Seeing Penny (OB - always a Thursday clinic) every two weeks still and these are the current plans:
    * 26 weeks - GGT
    * 28 weeks - Anti D injection & level 2 scan (placental placement & growth check)
    * 32 weeks - level 2 scan again for the same checks.

Amelia at 24 weeks and 4 days: approx 700g

Me at 25 weeks: 132lb (60kg) I've put on 2kg in 2 weeks!
PP: 115lb (52kg) 
Up: 17lb (8kg)

Signature Hot Chocolate and Lindt balls - probably where all the weight has come from.

Preparations & Plans
Forward planning is all about Elizabeth right now with her birthday so close
Elizabeth's birthday cards, photographs, albums and bits - Amelia's knitted bunny is on hold until all that is completed.

Wow, I don't know what happened to the updates that I had been doing all these weeks; weeks 22 through to 24? I can't remember all the things that I wrote and I'm fucked off that they've disappeared, thank goodness I'd saved my bump photos! So without further ado here they are...

24 weeks - July 11th
23 weeks - July 4th
22 - weeks - June 27th
21 weeks - FHB 147-157. This little girl  is so very active, I can't remember Elizabeth being this way, also having lots and lots of hiccup fits; always good for light entertainment. The only appointments this week have been my 'Mindfulness' class (of which there is only one other left) and with Dr Endo for my thyroid function; which is all within 'preferred  ranges'. The date can't be set for the c-section yet, far too many variables - BUT we were told that elective ones are done on Fridays (...?), so the loose date of the 21st of October has been suggested and that will put us at 38 weeks and 4 days. I know that is a long way off, so much could happen and my anxiety levels have a lot of scope to increase and magnify in that time, but that is a date for me to aim for. Next appointment is 'Mindfulness' this Tuesday and with Penny (OB) on Thursday. 
21 weeks - June 20th
20 weeks - FHB 153, lots of lovely kicks - so very active. We had our anatomy scan this week and found out Elizabeth has a little sister on the way and we're just thrilled! We were bricking it however in the lead up to the scan, just so anxious to know that everything was okay - I wouldn't have been bothered about her gender; just as long as all was well in there.  She is measuring on target, weighs about 385g (13.5oz) and the placenta is looking good in its position, if a little low. I am feeling really big, there is no hiding this little girl now.  Seeing Penny our wonderful OB tomorrow, when we'll hopefully settle on this soul's birthday - exciting!
20 weeks - June 13th
19 weeks - FHB 149, lots of movement and getting stronger too. Really not tat much to report this week other than the fact that no news is good news with me.  A. and I had the whole week together and went away to the Dandenongs for a relaxing cozy in the fool weather - we did come back well rested!
19 weeks - June 6th
18 weeks - FHB 150. I don't think I'm seeing much of a difference in the size of my bump, only after a big meal and then its gone in the morning - however I did look back at photos from Elizabeth's pregnancy and was shocked; I only started to take bump pictures at the 20 week mark (I just wasn't showing) and have more of a bump now at 18 weeks, than when I was 21 weeks with Elizabeth! See...
21 weeks carrying Elizabeth - April 14th 2010
 I am however getting stronger and lots more movement and A. felt BB kick too. Proff. Lin (acupuncturist) said again about a daughter, I just can't wait to tell him how right or wrong he is - only another 18 days to go until the scan...
18 weeks - May 30th 2011
17 weeks - I don't think I even took a photo this week, must have thought I'd already done it? It had been a very busy and draining week though, so can't blame myself for thinking otherwise.

I'm not under the MFM now, I'm seeing purely Penny the chief OB. She has taken over my care and told me today about her story; the fact that she is a BLM herself and is only just back from maternity leave, her son is just 4 months old. Three years ago she lost her son at 22 weeks, so she knows how difficult a subsequent pregnancy is. Her telling me came about as I was trying to describe my feelings about not being able to even look towards the future, and its a fact that its not conscious effort to block it out - to which she said she knew exactly what I meant, I think I gave her a stunned and astounded look and she carried on.
It was really nice to be able to talk with someone who has just walked this path and who can help and preempt any hurdles I may come across. She listens to me, gives me an ultrasound at our appointments and asks if there is anything she can do to help alleviate my anxiety. She irons out any problems with the other appointments I have within the hospital, making sure I'm seen in a timely manor and puts me in touch with specialists that I may need to see (ie, Endocrinologist, Psychologist). I feel like a famous person with her attentiveness and so very relieved that she is taking her time with us.
Ah, we saw BB squirming about on the ultrasound this morning. Checking its head, femur, heartbeat and tummy - all of which where just about on target. Posterior placenta, looking a little low, but it'll move upward with growth. BB weighs in at about 140g and we were both surprised to see how active he/she was... I did ask about gender and BB was so very cooperative too, but the ultrasound machine wasn't too new and so getting a good clear picture of parts wasn't easy. First Penny said about a little boy being in there and then she changed her mind (I really thought I'd seen three white lines; meaning little girl), but didn't want to call it. She said that usually boys aren't hard to tell at this gestation, but it could be the fact that things were swollen down there - we will hopefully be able to tell with the anomaly scan on June 14th, with the better machine and sonographer. I can't wait and think it will help immensely with our bonding with BB. I know we'd prefer another daughter, but when Penny initially said about a son; I thought who cares, I just love this new soul...
But the thought of another daughter makes my heart soar; I'll be able to see Elizabeth grow through her little sister.
16 weeks - Feeling lots of movements and have resumed weekly acupuncture sessions. FHB 164.
16 weeks - May 16th
15 weeks - Next appoint May 19th. Feeling movement and a lot more comfortable with the Nu-lax. FHB 156-170.
15 weeks - May 9th
14 weeks - No appointments this week. Feeling movement. FHB 150
14 weeks - May 2nd
13 weeks - I found a new friend this week; Nu-lax and has been my savour with a teaspoon a night, I feel human again! Feeling the faintest of movements already and I know its not just the gas. Had an impromptu scan at appointment this week, was great to see little BB. FHB 168.
13 weeks - April 25th


12 weeks - I didn't have another appointment until the NT scan on April 20th at 12 weeks and 2 days - thankfully it was a non eventful 4 weeks in between scans.  I also started taking bump pictures on the week mark too.

12 weeks - April 18th
NT scan at 12 weeks and 2 days - April 20th

Results from the NT scan came back great!  For my age without the scan and bloods it was a result of a 1:523 chance and with the NT measurement and my blood results, it was a whopping 1:3220 (with Elizabeth's results, they came back as 1:31 - CVS and the all clear). We got a DVD of the whole scan that we showed the folks and the photo is hanging on the fridge. FHB 176.

8-11 weeks - We brought a doppler and had been trying to find the Fetal Heartbeat since getting it at some ridiculously early stage, we managed to find it sometime in the 10th week. That was a hard time in between being able to actually find it the heartbeat, we ended up at A's work place with the ultrasound machine out - much relief and a FHB of 176.
March 22nd follow up/viability scan at the EPAS
Diagnosis: Normal looking 8 week pregnancy.
Fetal heartbeat - 165bpm
Gestational sac - 28.7mm
Crown to Rump Length - 16.2mm
BB at 8 weeks  and 2 days

All about the first scary scan (March 8th at 6 weeks and 2 days) posted here.

6 weeks - My acupuncturist at my last session (March 7th) after feeling my pulse for a good few minutes, said I was having another girl.  So as it stands, I have signs that I'm having a son and a daughter - I'm not wanting to find out either way right now.
If you squint you can just about see the second line.
Taken on DPO 12 on  Saturday 19th of February 2011