Day 4

Day 4 - your favourite book, has it changed since your loss?


I don't think I have a favourite book right now - I guess the one that I'm reading now; An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination.  My taste in books has vastly changed!  Up until Elizabeth came into our lives, I was a fiction junkie - anything to immerse myself into a world of dreams and fantasy.  That doesn't mean Si-Fi though; far too far fetched!  I loved the simple ones and wish I cam e up the the Harry Potter Books!  I also loved the Twilight Saga... yes, I know totally a teen book, but it did just that - transported me back to a time of innocence, wonder and lust.  Pure distraction at its best.  I much preferred to get out and about in the warmer months, rather than curl up with a book on a bright sunny day and winter was my time for the trashy books.


Now, I can't read enough on grief, specifically the loss of a baby.  Reading other parents stories has helped me so much.  Its taught me that me what grief is all about (accepting your loss and living life with that fact),  what to expect and how I can navigate the process it some extent.  They tell me that I'm not bonkers for what I feel, and to be honest I did think I was going crazy!  I'm not quite sure why others peoples stories help - I know its not me being voyeuristic, but there is a connection I have with others that have gone through the emotional pain that I am.  They give my own emotions a focus for a moment when I reading, I can say - Oh, I totally know what they mean.  I can relate to the authors and have my thoughts and feeling validated in that respect.
I don't even find pleasure in the gossip magazines anymore.  I have one delivered and just look at the headlines and pictures and move onward, only because I know its piss A. off if I didn't look at it!  Anyway, its a minefield of pregnant women and 'miracle babies'.


Short one today, A. and I have been out most of the day (Armageddon) and I want to write back to my new pen pal L. firstly - if there is anything pertinent in that, then I'll copy it over.


Until tomorrow then...