There came in this mornings post a new book For A's birthday. It is right up my street and also light, easy reading, so I started it. I wanted to step out of my world of 'woe is me' and distract myself, but found that it just drew my attention to other areas of my life, affected by my loss that I'd never considered.
Here is a simple experimental method for measuring identity - a personal view of who we think we are. It is simple, all you need do is have these 10 minutes on the clock and complete the sentence "I am ..... as many times as the 10 minutes allow.
I'll put my answers in a comment below, I don't want to taint your answers.
You want to share yours?
I am...
ReplyDeletea mother
grieving
lost
uninterested
passive
hopeful
bewildered
crushed
choosing to be alone
loved
in love
hurting
yearning
sunken
drowning
distraught
without purpose
without my daughter
compassionate
attentive
grateful for loving contacts
grateful for support and understanding
unwilling to totally let go
fearful for the future
overwhelmed
marking time
resided
fucked up
functioning
okay considering
getting on top of health issues
more than content to be defined by Elizabeth
so very frustrated
I am needing to pee....
I am a mother; grieving; sad; lost; alone; eccentric; a giver; an aunt; a sister; a daughter; tall; brunette; a wife; a friend; a lover; a reader; intelligent; educated; funny; silly; a flautist; collector of shark teeth; lover of green; fan of fantasy / sci fi; amateur photographer; lover of sudoku and crosswords; fair; an infertile myrtle; pre-diabetic; lazy; mint chocolate lover; lover of sun and heat; vegetarian; beach lover; lake and river lover; outdoorsy; lover of comedic television; healthy; fun; reliable; responsible; 30; corrections officer; lover of lord of the rings; peaceful; open-minded; strong; silent; introverted; sore.
ReplyDeleteI definitely had some brain farts in that time span. I also wanted to keep going negative, but made myself write more positive thoughts! I ditto so many of your thoughts! Ironic that hopeful didn't make it on my list. What an eye-opening little challenge! I did enjoy it. You are loved very much!
Wow Missy,
ReplyDeletejust reading your list of things has opened my eyes to somethings that I never thought of writing about me - 'wife' being the glaringly obvious one! Eek - sorry A!!
There is another side to everything and I guess I'll do this every couple of months or so and see how things change; for it is bound to. Thank you for having a go Missy and you should add that you are very much loved by many!
I need to get off my lazy butt and try this... ;o)
ReplyDelete