Day 22 - A website that had been meaningful since your loss

At the moment my head is in the sand, in regards to everything.
I hardly go out.
I don't watch TV.
The only music I listen to is my 'Best Of All' playlist, no radio, no news.
Papers don't interest me at all and the gossip magazine I have delivered weekly is glanced at and chucked, hopefully not catching my  eye to any of the 'famous' pregnancies that they are filled with.  

The only reason I found out the terrible news of  Lily Allen's baby boy, was looking at the various topics of my life-line, Glow In The Woods.  Glow is the place I look to after I have read my e-mail and before I get out of bed in the morning.   I like to lurk on the forums, learn form others and have rarely commented.  I love the discussion board.  That is the key for me, to think out of 'woe is me - my baby died' and to think and really search of meanings in other directions.  Glow is a life-line, another perspective, other ways of thinking and drawing the best from a really, really fucking shit time in my life.

I know that I wouldn't have made important connections, if I was not looking there and these connection are even more of a life-line to me.  I have 'heard' other voices and follow them to there own blogs, I have made very good friends - this community is awesome to say the least.
I have currently six tabs open that I'm reading right now, four of those are Glow topics - I am trying to lap up so much information, so many back stories.  There is so much to think about, these avenues opened to me and are in need of exploring - I can't and won't rush these things, I need time to think on these new ways to see things, I need time to see if I can use tools to help me along this path.

But today I am feeling off, I have spent the best part of the day cleaning (it really does get on my nerves and can't settle if there are dust bunnies roaming around) and am having difficulty thinking and writing - I need to think on my baby Elizabeth, all the 'woe is me', reconnect with her and stop distracting myself with menial tasks....

My beautiful girl - oh, how I'm missing you xxxxxxx